This is a continuation of the previous blog, probably an elaboration on what i blogged yesterday. To say frankly, these few days have been especially difficult, especially since i've been seeing you around so often.
These few days, becos of that, i've been feeling quite shitty. Actually, not these few days, probably just today.
Enough of that, i was on the bus just now, reading one of my "stopped reading halfway" books - Boy meets Girl. This is one of the best books i've read so far, i stopped the last time because i felt it wasnt the right time to be reading a book on courtship as it kinda made me look forward too much to a relationship. I probably din feel the need to look at relationships at a Godly perspective as well.
This time, its quite different. I've never felt such an intense longing to see someone before. Its so strong. Even stronger than almost not seeing my parents for 3 weeks straight during the OBS and other camps period. I've no idea why.
Oh yah, as i was saying, i was reading this book on the bus and i can kinda take away several pointers from it.

• Firstly, unless i understand the role of God in my courtships, i will never be released from my emotions. I should not run away/ hide my emotions as i did previously, i should face it. And the way to face such my emotions may not be to confess to that person immediately, i should uphold it to God instead.
• Secondly, prayer is an essential tool in any healthy Godly relationship. Since God is our Lord, shouldnt i at least consult Him before making any big decisions? especially one of such a scale
• Thirdly, any healthy relationship should have the ultimate goal of marriage. If i dont see myself anywhere near marriage with that person, i probably aint ready for a relationship.
• And lastly, God is in control. For my current circumstance, i know for sure that now is not the right time for a relationship. So, if i wait for the right time, there are 2 circumstances. 1. I lose her to someone else. > and God gives me someone betta~! 2. I end up with her in a relationship validated by God. hehz.

After reading the book, somehow, i kinda felt relieved. I know its from God, such peace...

Well, for that, i'll start praying, for all i know, maybe 2 years from now, my 2 years of prayer would be quite an experience to talk about! lol. Anyhow, i shouldnt be upset whether or not i end up with her.

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On a slightly less serious note, i went to prayer meeting just now. It was awesome, I felt real peace and comfort there.
After that, on my way home, it was raining cats and dogs. It was raining so badly that my street flooded, up to my knees. Stupid construction, most probably the culprit of this flood. Anyway, thats all for today, was quite a nice day actually, except for the first half of the day before reading the book.

-cheok