Theres a fine line between adulthood and adolescence. Subconciously, i've been thinking quite a fair bit about alot of "adult" issues; my future career, wad subs i wanna take in Uni, wad kinda house i want in the future. To an extent, i look forward to the future so much, its become like a beacon of hope for me. The things i missed out in the past, the things i envied others of, have all been pinned to my expectations of my future. Perhaps placing my hopes in my future is one way to add meaning to my already contented-with life.
I guess im at an age where i've to start deciding the things i want in life. There wont really be people around who tell me to start thinking about it, so i guess it just happens naturally.
So many wants, so many hopes.

Its scary to remember the fact that within 3 months, i'll be entering a new phase of my manhood - NS. Its also scary to know that soon after NS, even the law will recognise me as an adult. A part of me is engulfed in fear. What if i become someone i never imagined myself to be? A drunkard, a gambler, or maybe even a hawker(haha, though its quite cool if i really become a hawker) Yet, part of me yearns for it to come to past. I yearn to know what will become of me. Selfishly, I yearn for the possibility of better-ing my life, to make myself become the person i dream of becoming.

Just yesterday, this thought struck me again: What if one day, God asks me to give up all that i've planned for myself, my dreams, my aspirations, my expectations. He asked once, but if He were to ask again, it wont be the same. I wont know how i will react, but this im sure, that when He asks, He has already a plan in mind. One that is better than what i have for myself. =)